mumma yaga

my sushi.    Not much changed for our family when the new lockdown began in Toronto. I did notice that the 401 and the 427 were unusually quiet at six pm., when it should have been busy. But we continued to observe such strict protocols through the summer and fall that Monday seemed no different. We haven't even had take-out since February let alone go out socially. I was surprised that people had returned so much to common public and social venues and events that they feel stifled and frustrated by the new orders. I don't understand the problem with waiting until covid-19 is properly defeated before resuming "regularly-scheduled programming". We are not children who don't understand delayed gratification. We don't have to do a "normal" Christmas, or wedding or birthday party for that matter. Big weddings seem extravagant and unnecessary at the best of times but right now it doesn't make sense. My parents, married during the war, were only allowe...

  On Friday, it was 17 degrees and in the field I discovered violet leaves and dandelions waking up! Yesterday, snow, a proper 5 inches of perfect snowman snow; the children scrambled to find boots and mitts and by nightfall there were snowmen and forts all along the street. Tamar and Indre went for an after-dinner walk and returned dragging a giant snowball on the sled: a snowman for the records.           This morning another giant snowball brought home from the field, and the corner garden, where in summer the wildflowers spill out onto the sidewalk. ***** Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary this month. I hardly know where to go from there! On their 50th, Philip said, "The main lesson we have learned is that tolerance is the one essential ingredient of any happy marriage."* Tolerance - not a word I would have gone with, but the drift is there. Allowing your partner to be who they are and trusting your commitment an...

Quebec, September. "Changes in lifestyle, aims and dreams, and those stemming from covid-19, have shaken up who I am: so much is new. But I feel more myself, not less: grounded; the earth has stopped shaking for a little while." That was two weeks ago (blog post 201105); then three days ago (201115) I said,  "I am struggling, or perhaps falling; I can't find anything to hold on to, except K. I barely know myself."  On the fifth I called the shake-up "a perfect storm of existential review and change" and it felt like the earth had stopped shaking, temporarily. When I was a kid at our cottage on the Huron shore, thunderstorms seemed to move across the Bruce and circle back again for a second or even a third pass bringing more wind and rain and thunder. Now, this storm of self-discovery will doubtless circle around again. Selfhood is a progression of learning and adaptation that doesn't stop and though there may be times of certainty and solid ground,...

     Nov. 14 I took Fig down the street for a little walk after supper, and the corner neighbours have put their christmas lights up, the same arrangement they had last year - my favorite: strands of many-coloured lights, wrapped round the branches of their several trees. Last December Robin loved going to see them, to stand under them and look up. People have been taking advantage of the warm weather to get their decorations up while it's nice. I suspect there is also an increased sense of community, following close of the heels of Halloween, that is inspiring them. Covid-19 has made us more aware of our connection as a neighbourhood. I walked up the driveway past the Forester that will carry K and I to our new life (for a few months). I imagine that the car's eyes are closed: an absurd expensive symbol of that uncertain future, it is sleeping until December 8th; when we will climb in it for almost the first time, to drive the 700 kilometers to Mansonville in winter, hen...

 Nov. 11  Robin made a poppy. A school-wide virtual assembly was organized for children learning at home. Robin and Indre projected it onto the TV screen and watched together with their dad.  ***** On the heels of his defeat at the polls, President Trump, still not accepting his loss, is replacing important military and defense personnel with hand-picked loyal supporters. (See this morning's news of Pentagon leaders.) This is setting up a base for an armed push-back against the President-Elect. It is not good news. I thought that some Republican supporters, even some armed supporters, might take to the streets for Trump, but he is lining up "official" positions to carry his flag. This, in a country we have depended on to be stable and safe and law-abiding, of which we would say "It couldn't happen here."  CNN (news platform) published an article yesterday which included this quote: "This is scary, it's very unsettling," one defense official tol...

Pastel morning. Nov. 10 The unfolding of the presidential election has become a theatrical event to compete with any of Shakespeare's mad and desperate Kings. Trump is shut in his castle while his noblemen and family take sides, and the country watches in anger or fear, powerless, without horses or swords. If this was a movie it would not be believable.  Joe Biden speaks confidently, offering a mature assurance of good and rational leadership, like a fresh wind blowing through a newly-opened window. It's a whole new universe if this transition can be accomplished without violence or bitterness. But there are many millions of Americans who wanted Trump to be president for another four years, who, by supporting Trump, demonstrate small-minded selfish attitudes of racism and self-righteous conservative ideals. They are not a group likely to take rejection well, any more than Trump has or will. However at this morning's press conference Biden expressed no concerns about a Trump...

Nov. 7 A brave small tree by the stop-sign is (almost gleefully) turning red.                                    When, in 2016, Trump became the republican candidate, I heard a shoe drop, and waited for the other shoe. No one really believed that Trump would be president but I had a bad feeling from the start.  The Media has now declared Biden president-elect (2 pm.). It seems premature. I will wait for the other shoe to drop.  In Toronto the sun is shining and it is 21 degrees. Indre and I have been doing some mosaics on the porch. She and Robin are out playing in shirt-sleeves. Even November is holding its breath while we "wait, and wait, in Casablanca." *         My sphere project is a globe with place-name souvenirs. It has been eight years on the shelf. This is our backyard tree and the neighbours' much bigger one. I am not sure I appreciated autumn unti...

nov. 5  A brand new day. Robin had something to tell me about covid. He said "There is this word, 'contagious' and it means that something can spread. And covid is contagious." "Is that why we wear masks?" I asked. "Yes!", he said. Contagious: who knew? It is weird having to share a kitchen. You wouldn't think that 30 days (in Quebec) could change the habits of 30 years, but I have become a guest chef in this kitchen. Today I cooked dinner at 2 pm (to eat later!) for K and I, that is, while the kitchen was free. We don't eat with the others any more. It is important for households to eat supper (or one meal) together to reconnect - for me this is a basic tenet of household living. But since August, even before Quebec, K and I have been eating on our own and the Tamar-Nick family on their own. What does this mean for our household? I wanted to eat grownup food and the Tamar-Nicks are still eating kid food: hot dogs, pizza and chicken nuggets...

2020 Halloween Robin and Indre's pumpkins  A Halloween with a full moon, and it's blue, and it's also at its farthest from earth. A rare confluence of moon events.   This year's Halloween was amazing. A neighbour on our street sent flyers to everyone suggesting a costume parade around the circle in the afternoon. She invited those who wished to give out treats to do so - requested masks be worn, funny twist on Covid-19 life. It was an great success - 15 out of 22 houses participated, grownups and adult children, many in costume, were out at the sidewalk with tables, pumpkins, scary owl skeletons, bloody body parts and treats. Several people prepared little sacks of candies and chocolates, one person made the sweetest little skeleton and pumpkin cookies and put together a magic princess costume as well! We had a 6 year old raccoon and a dad raccoon, not the same family! Also several grownup cowboys, bandanas de rigueur! A holy cow - cow costume and halo, two vampires, ve...