mumma yaga

 Feb. 26 I am grateful for our home, safe and warm, as we watch war erupting so near. I am ashamed, because, though I have watched refugees around the world escaping war-torn countries, abandoning their homes, carrying their children in their arms, and imagined what that must be like, I haven't felt the deep fear and sadness that I feel now, as I watch what is happening in Ukraine. This feels nearer, in long-stable Europe; it is gut-wrenching, very frightening. May our prayers be heard. ***** the creaking trees the fallen trees the creek in its small snowy gorge running dark and cold ***** The dogs at play: "Wait, what's that?", they stop and look. "What's there?" I am so happy that they are friends. Blackie has been lonely, patrolling his mountain all by himself. Rocky whines eagerly to go out when Blackie shows up. Rocky went out by himself, to play with his friend who lives up the road, just as I did when I was five. I was struck by the visceral memor

 Feb. 19 Snowing, this morning. We are small and insignificant creatures on our hill tonight. We have had intermittent snow all day and the wind that has been hounding us has taken on new strength as night has fallen. It is howling at the windows and heaping the snow in waves and crests around the doors. Our driveway is impassable by car for the drifting. It is minus thirteen and will drop to minus nineteen by early morning. The fire is blazing however, and the kettle boiled for tea. We are safe and warm. I am grateful, and very happy.  Snow spirits on the meadow: My day was good. The mosaic project is coming along splendidly, exceeding my expectations. I washed the spring jackets; and put away clothes dislodged from their home by Rocky's bed (!), in a new place. I cooked chickpeas and made a curry soup, with Thai red curry paste, coconut milk, carrots, garlic, onions and a large can of mixed vegetables. Black pepper, turmeric, ginger, cardamom, and a teaspoon of lime juice finishe

 Feb. 17 today  i began to lick his face suddenly on another level being to being sans species does he not read me like a human would? and understand my language? just as i already know what he is saying with voice and face and body clear as words "when did you leave heaven?" laugh out loud for him  it was the year indre was born and he lived the years with someone here and grew up here before i even came to this country almost as if he will live two lives  in his life (perhaps we all live more) this one with me on the hill yes these same hills where he has always lived and learned all there was to know so he could come to my side and give his love and lick my face ancestral sleek and perfect in the mornings we walk up the camp road snowbanks and black naked trees on either side released he trots ahead  scouting and stops at the crest to look back  return or dash on and waits at the turn for me the sort of dog who likes the role of friend we are each the other's companio

 Feb.14 The guardian sisters in the snow. My days are full, with Rocky, mosaic work, cooking, seeing, and breathing, joy. There is magic in these hills. I am bewitched. I feel grateful. Rocky and I took our daily walk up the camp road this morning. Blackie joined us: I think they like each other's company. Soon Blackie runs off on his own but Rocky comes along with me, stopping frequently to look back. I love the way he keeps an eye on me, in the house or outside. (except when he has gone to bed. See below.) We had several days of thaw last week. Snow fell off the roof; then more. This is our front door! When the roads are like this they are perhaps worse than at any other time except for sheer ice. The mud becomes inches deep and the car has no traction. Then these ruts freeze.  Sunday's cold weather brought sunshine; Rocky and I enjoyed some basking on the porch. Tonight's moon, almost full. The stars will be out tonight too. I think Rocky is getting enough exercise. Toni

 Feb. 8 A reprieve this morning from the cold weather. The temperature is up from the minus teens to - 2 C, windless; it is balmy, and so pleasant to walk. Rocky and I took our walk down to the farm and saw the cows, about two kilometers return journey. I knew that a dog would be therapeutic for my physical recovery, and almost every day since his arrival we have been down to the the chicken woman's farm and back. It is their cows we visited this morning. It is farther than I have been walking since my illness. It gives Rocky his walk-time for the day, too, although he could do five times this distance and still make it back home for dinner!  Blackie joined us for a while. For the first four days of Rocky's time with us, he slept not at all, except at night with me, beside me on his bed or on mine. By Friday night he was probably getting pretty tired; at any rate, he felt safe enough to nap on his blanket by my desk chair, with his own from-home pillow under his head. Since the

 Feb. 4 There are baked beans in the fridge (we tested them last night - definite pass!) and curry lentil soup, the kitchen is clean, laundry done, so I am declaring a holiday for myself. I am off-duty. I will play: mosaics, Rocky, and snow. Lots of music.  Yesterday was Rocky's second day with us. Already off-leash! So obedient, came to me every time I called, heeled until released. He has obviously spent years off-leash with his former owner and understands the concepts of heeling at owner's side, and running about independently while on walks. I am thrilled with his behavior. The training I will do is only icing on the cake, fine details like learning the boundary of the yard. Actually that's about it, for now! He already seems to know by this morning the concept, "in-our-yard", by which I am teaching him the border he must stay inside, unless released. I said those words and he turned back, from the first time, knowing by the tone of my voice, perhaps, that he