201017 Being Home

Oct. 17

      Here comes the sun.

  I think we just bought an all-wheel-drive smart phone. We purchased a Subaru Forester (used), it has all sorts of gizmos and gadgets, but what threw me was that this car will remind me when my nephew's birthday is. And it will know his phone number (I have to tell it first for both of these conveniences, but STILL!)

  The trees are beautiful in Etobicoke in the Fall. Each has a garden, or a space of its own, so it has the runway to itself so to speak. It is not a patch in a quilt, it can hold its whole self against the blue sky and be a star. I am glad to be back here to enjoy the autumn I am familiar with. The orange-red maples are first in colour, and the yellows are following and the sumac has gone pink. Fig and I walked to the field this afternoon. We usually go in the morning and meet a couple of friends, but this afternoon I met a new friend, a woman I have met three or four times: today she was so friendly and talked to Fig. She said she loves dogs.

  I have a car guy. Yesterday I took both cars in, the Forester to be looked over and my Sentra to be winterized. K and I have owned several cars and have had them serviced at dealerships, private specialists and corner gas station owners, but always without confidence that we were being properly taken care of, since we are not car experts. My knowledge of cars principally pre-dates computer technology and includes knowledge of dinosaur mechanics that no longer even exist. My car guy is a small family business owner. He was recommended to me by a friend who knows cars, then a few years ago he was selling a car that had "mine" written all over it. I bought it on the spot - that was the Sentra. He had serviced this car since it was new and was selling it for the owner. Since then I have become a loyal customer, confident that he will take care of me and my cars. He is another local business that supports our "village". I was in the shop during the first few days of the pandemic so I have shared some of that journey with him. I have also been to see him before any journey that involved my car, knowing that he would set me on the road safely. He wanted to see the Forester as soon as we brought her home and he looked her over stem to stern as if he himself were the purchaser. He has connections too with other local businesses and the support of community continues. 

  I was going to rant about the on-going social and political challenges we are facing, but it seemed much more calming to focus on the good things around us, as we head into a weekend which I hope will bring rest and renewal to many who need it. Yesterday I went to Six Points Dollar Store for a couple of items; they are not as big as a Dollarama but are a family business and well-stocked with hundreds of useful items (even when things were scarce they had gloves and masks and sanitizer). Their children attend the same local school as my grandchildren. Next door to their shop is Valley Farm (family business) where I picked up a few days' vegetables: kale, watercress, plums. Last stop Dairy Jug (family business) at Ashbourne, our "corner store" for a couple of corner store things. These establishments have seen me through the past seven months while I have avoided large chain stores where the traffic is higher and less local. They were quick to respond to the covid-19 pandemic, putting safety protocols in place within days. Being their own bosses they didn't have to wait on others to act to protect their clientele and their business. Pet Valu on Bloor near Six Points is another locally-owned shop and they too were set up almost immediately to handle the pandemic. I have been a customer there since my first dog was a puppy twenty years ago. 

*****

   If you have a child or grandchild 8 to 16 years old, there is an article worth reading in The Toronto Star, Thursday, October 15, 2020 called Six in 10 girls experience online abuse. The headline is an instance of "passive" wording: girls "experience" abuse, but the abuser is unacknowledged. This passive construct which is so common in discussions of violence against women helps to protect abusers and society from having to confront them. (This was brought to my attention in a Facebook post recently. See footnote.)  How many boys and girls does it take to abuse six out of ten girls? That's a lot of mean kids. But I don't think this is just a female experience. Boys are targeted by bullies and abusers frequently too and the abusers are sometimes girls. Online abuse is insidious because it is covert and anonymous - the abuser able to be meaner because it is less "personal" and the abused often alone in their pain and fear, and unsure where to turn for help. 

  Keep safe and be well.  

  Mumma Yaga.

Footnote: Excerpt posted on Facebook earlier this month.