250504 struggling

May 4, 2025

  How the spring struggled up through mud and cold and rain, the first flowers, daffodils and coltsfoot, coming up in the bare earth, while we continued to have frozen nights and several days of snow: reluctant spring.

It is warm, at last, when I go out in the morning to see the day.

The first trout lily: a bee was already at work and while I watched, a second bee, different species, turned up and there was a scuffle. The creatures don't waste any time, even if winter is lingering. The frogs have been quacking and peeping on the ridge; crawling and flying insects are everywhere.Most of the birds have returned from the south, while the over-winters have come up from the valley now the cold is gone. There are vultures and ravens, hawks; we even spotted a pair of eagles along Chemin Peabody. The song sparrows, robins, red-winged blackbirds, jays, flickers, phoebes, robins and calling for mates and territories, and on the ridge the low thumping of the grouse can be heard like distant drums.

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I love to see the water: the stream coming down the ridge and the cow pond.

Fox and I followed the stream down the ridge. He dabbled and dropped stones into the water. He wanted to have a drink and I showed him how to cup his hands. He got it right away and was delighted to drink and drink!

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My blue cave mosaic is a creature struggling up from the mud as well. The lighthouse was built on a single-bulb socket which I just discovered was no longer working. The lighthouse is a light source for the cave, to augment the natural light from the open ends. I have solved the problem with a tiny flashlight, for which I had to remove some of the light socket. The socket and cord were grouted into the cave and cannot be completely removed - not a problem, I sorted that. The next problem was making a solid base for the lighthouse to sit on. It has to be removable so that the flashlight can be replaced as necessary, but the structure when the lighthouse is removed must look neat and finished. I am taking each small step one at a time, often only one in a day. Once in a while I think of abandoning the project, but I love the conception and the art pieces that I have assembled. I want to see my vision come to life.

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I am still struggling with too few spoons to get through a day, but my mornings are productive. I have been packing and sorting and getting rid of stuff in preparation for the move. In fact, I have accomplished a great deal - once I get going I feel energized to do more. I only have one more room to sort through. I have detached myself from the emotions of leaving this place, in order to get everything done. I just cannot think about it. It is fruitless to dwell on something that cannot be changed, much like worry, which is wasted energy if you cannot affect the situation you are worrying about. I accept the sadness and somehow set it aside and keep moving on. Mind you, it has taken me a couple of months to get to this state of mind. (Not an exercise to begin and end a sentence with the same word!) 

It is indeed sad to be leaving this beautiful place.

It has been almost two months since I have written, as well. The same inertia has been dogging my efforts there. The final emergence of real spring, warm green-grass mornings and early sunrises has probably helped my return to productivity. It has certainly helped me to feel a sense of peace about leaving.

Thank you for visiting. There was some trouble with my facebook account and I am not sure if I will be going there again. I am also taking a break from this blog. I will write again in September, all being well. Be healthy and happy through the summer. Oh, summer! Doesn't that sound wonderful?

Mumma Yaga