201231 Old Year New Year and Fig News

 dec. 31

Here is Fig, more like his old self.

Fig is better today: still can't see but he is beginning to be aware of obstacles and locates me more easily. He is holding his tail up again after carrying it down in fear position and he is wagging more. He came for a walk off-leash yesterday and followed me very well. K and I walked over to the second meadow and Fig walked part-way on leash. When we got among the trees I put him in a carrier I fashioned from a pashmina for the rest of the walk. I carried my children in an Indonesian-style baby carrier like this until they were heavier than he is, so it wasn't difficult. He seemed happy with it and didn't growl or wriggle. I hope he will get the hang of following us while finding a path between the weeds and bushes, perhaps begin to follow our footsteps more closely. 

                                                        Fig in his sling:

*****

We have never gone out on NewYear's Eve (except once to a small best-friends gathering and another time during my short-lived musician days, when our band had a NewYear's Eve gig). We prefer to stay home and end the year in quiet activities, games, or a movie, and at midnight lay out a small spread of favorite foods and open a bottle of sparkling stuff of the inexpensive variety. Any kids at home would join in as they got older. It is a pleasant way to spend the evening, mindful of the import of the changing year; we often tuned in to the Toronto festivities and always counted down the last seconds with Toronto or New York's Times Square. Impromptu visitors were welcome, although rare, and there were phone calls to and from significant relatives and friends. So, for us, this New Year's Eve will be business as usual, except we will probably have a fire for the first time, and instead of fake champagne we will toast the New Year with red wine, since I didn't get any bubbly. 

The midnight spread is traditionally bacon-wrapped dates (to die for), brie cheese and crackers, chicken-liver pate (also tdf), deviled eggs, shortbread and chocolates. It is the only time all year that we make bacon-dates, which have a name like "devils on horseback". All but the cheese, crackers and chocolates are long-standing home-made favorites. This year it is going to be simply brie and Quebec pates, which are excellent, and bread. Tamar will doubtless prepare "devils on horseback" to serve with her own favorite treats - she likes the at-home New Year's celebration too. 

 It feels like in some way 2021 should be different from the past year, perhaps the pandemic will be a thing of 2020. But as I take a more realistic look at the months ahead I realize that covid won't just shut off overnight. In the coming months we are facing continued lockdowns, masks will continue to be acutely fashionable, the covid cases and deaths will start a new count as of January 1, while the record of 2020 numbers will close. Even though we foresaw the crisis continuing into the new year, it does feel disheartening to be actually facing January 2021 and realize there is no clean slate. It is an arbitrary date, less than two millennia old and bears much less significance in human time than we pretend. I look back now at the winter solstice, a true turning point that also did not concern itself with the human condition, merely continued the cycle of the seasons. There is no end-of-year door we can shut. 

2020 has been a rare uranium year. Captain Covid was not to be tamed by a modern "civilized" world: he didn't "push the river"*, just carried on through lockdowns until we grew complacent, and then barreled his way back to record numbers and overloaded healthcare systems. The vaccine is certainly a triumph, thanks to the amazing cooperative and dedicated work of world scientists and thanks must go to the many who gave financial support to such concerted effort. But the vaccine will be a long time getting to everyone - covid-19 is out there and we need to continue with the sticks and stones of masks and isolation to keep it at bay. 

But look what we have learned about ourselves and each other this year. We have put cracks in the political and social systems that perpetuate inequality and poverty - only cracks mind you, we have to keep vigilant and hammer on. We have seen generosity and kindness sprout forth as if it needed only the watering of a shared challenge. We haven't been called on to this degree to think of others, since perhaps the second world war. The United States, world leader, was brought to its knees by covid-19 and a president who turned out to be crazier and more dangerous than expected. But a sane and mature leader has been elected now and perhaps Canada's closest neighbour will cease to be a country gone mad. And through it all countries managed to fight wars, estrange fellow humans from their homes; hurricanes, floods and earthquakes went on blowing, drowning and breaking. 

Artists had to reinvent their jobs, fighting to keep alive financially. Musicians, dancers and performers, cut off from their audiences found new directions in which to grow. Small businesses and large had to stay connected to their communities and clients with invention and creativity. There was triumph and satisfaction amidst the losses and trials. We rethought education, health-care, seniors' and vulnerable individuals' care. Many discovered what really mattered to them and what was unnecessary when the chips were down. 

Sadly, our life-blood of essential workers, though praised and recognized as invaluable, has not received the financial reward that we owe this precious group. Like the lip-service of Mother's Day, our appreciation is hollow and empty-handed. We are not putting our money where our mouth is. The rich have gotten richer and big business has hogged the profits such as there were, while poverty marches on. 

There have been other wins. Close to home, our little Etobicoke circle discovered what a treasure we had in our community and we built on and benefited from our friendships. Our local network of businesses came through for us and we for them as we navigated safe commerce. Tamar has been working from home since March, and Nick is making home-schooling a success. Indre and Robin became closer, finding a friendship that grew strong and will carry them through their young lives. I became reacquainted with friends whom, during the busy normal years, I didn't properly attend to: they generously welcomed me in social media circles and their support became dear to me. Many new-found friends, too, have been kind. (Thank you, everyone!) News, memories, photographs brought inclusion and joy into my life.  

K and I took strides this year to reclaim our marriage relationship after decades of raising children, being there for our parents and siblings and working to provide food and shelter for our family. We have taken the time to get to know each other again and we find that we share a history now and a bond, unexpected and comforting. For the first time in my life I am able to throw myself into writing and art as I realize that the next generation can take over and I can pursue interests that I thought would remain dreams forever. I feel as if I am reaching out and learning as never before. I have discovered joy and happiness: they are not only in the red-letter times of our lives; they are also small, lower-case feelings that live in the moments of every day but nurture me in their constant presence if I take the time to breathe them in. 

I wish you all a Happy New Year. Keep safe, be kind, and keep looking for magic. Thank you all for visiting my blog - it means so much to me!  

Mumma Yaga

We found a moose print in the second meadow! Pretty sure, based on its size, almost as big as my hand.

         

I call this small hill (at right) "the witch's tit", or, heretically, Gaia's breast. Some of the conical hills in the area are old volcanoes. You can see another such cone-shaped hill in the picture of me and Fig, above.

* my only reference for this expression is Van Morrison's You Don't Pull No Punches , but it likely predates that song.